English is Fundamental

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Lawyer(L): Have you any grounds?
Client(C): Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
C: It made of concrete.

L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
C: No, we have carport, and not need one.

L: I mean. What are your relations like?
C: All my relations still in Poland

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
C: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?
C: No, I always up before her.

L: Is your wife a nagger?
C: No, she white.

L: Why do you want this divorce?
C: She going to kill me.

L: What makes you think that?
C: I got proof.

L: What kind of proof?
C: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom and I can read u know, and it say: 'Polish Remover'