difficult night

Paul had very severe pain last night; it started at 11pm, 8hr after they started tube feeding. It was so bad that despite two doses of mist morphine of 20ml within half an hour, the pain didn't subside and i had to request for stronger painkiller injections which was given almost immediately. After about half an hour, he was in cold sweat and told me he couldn't take it as the pain was getting worse. I had to get the staff nurse to call his oncologist to request for some pain relief medication or injection. They gave him another jab at about 1am and he managed to sleep after about 15mins later.

The pain management doctor just left and he believed the pain should be the cause of both the tumour as well as the small intestines due to the tube-feeding. He suggested we either increase the morphine patch dosage or change the patches every 48 instead of 72hr.

Seeing paul suffer the excruciating pain is very tormenting and the worse thing is to hear the news about the patient next to our room just passed away at age 43 of pancreas cancer. He has a wife and young child. This news is indeed very demoralising!

We are not sure if he can be discharged today as he's still having some pain now. I know he wants to go home badly but it's important that the pain issues are addressed here at the hospital. If the cause could be due to the tube-feeding, both paul and myself have decided we will not try again! He said "it's not worth it!". We know doctor wants to ensure the intestines work constantly but if it's going to be so much pain and sufferings, we rather not try it again! I think it's better to feed him some small quantity of liquid every few hourly like before rather than using the tube-feeding pump!