105ians

Paul had been drowsy and slept most of the time since doctor started him on ketamine and midazolan(sleeping drug). The continuous infusion of morphine was removed together with 2 of the 3 morphine patches from his body as his respiratory rate was too low. He had fever occasionally and he's being monitored every hour. He only needed morphine once at around 11pm.

The drug was making him dreamy, drowsy and he keeps having hallucination. Doctor said it's expected but his frequent strange behavior frightens him as he realised it most of the time that he was uttering nonsense but just couldn't help it and kept seeing images and had the feeling of his soul out of his body. I was worried and wanted the doctor to cut down or turn off the drug but by doing that the pain may come back. Doctor told me it's better to let the drug runs continuously for 3days to be more effective. Tomorrow is the 3rd day but doctor had instructed the nurse to reduce the dosage to half.

It's very painful for me to witness paul going thru all these. Few of the nurses here are quite caring and kept asking me to take a rest and eat. I have been eating as i know i can't afford to fall sick at this time when my hubby needs me.

Though the doctor and the staff nurse try to prepare me for the worst but i know my God takes charge and He has the final say. I am trying very hard not to be affected by the negative words from them though i know they are doing it out of goodwill and also based on their experiences with other patients, I will continue to pray for miracle to take place. Ultimately, whatever happens, I know God has paul's interest at heart and He will provide the best way for us. Who knows, the miracle may happen very soon!