I miss my darling!

It's been almost one week since paul went home peacefully with the Lord. I miss him very much... especially today.

I had been thinking so much about him. Whenever i see the recliner in the room, i recalled how much time he spent sitting and sleeping on it, with the morphine, dormicum, infusion tubes, the terumo pump, the oxygen concentrator etc etc etc by his sides.

I went thru his diary and i am so proud of him that despite the pain he was going thru, his faith remained strong and he was still clinging on to the Lord. You are just amazing, my dear hubby!

My family members had been extremely wonderful by keeping me company. Pam had been sleeping with me since last saturday night. My cousins had organised a short trip to phuket next weekend for 17 of us. I am truly blessed with all these loved ones around me.

I would like to thank my family members - my mum, maureen, daniel, peter, julia, joel, jonathan and pamelia for all they had done. Without them, the wake wouldn't had been so well organised. I don't remember doing anything but everything was so beautifully organised. I must specially thank maureen as i know she had done the most.

Joel, Jonathan and Pamelia made a beautiful and memorable video clips of paul from his childhood upto one week before he passed on and it was played over and over again during the wake and many of his relatives and friends were so touched watching it. His positive spirit is one that is most remarkable. Though i have been with him all these time, i am still very touched by his strength and faith. I have asked Pam and julia to upload the video either on our blog if possible, if not, probably on the facebook.

I know it will take awhile for me to really settle down and re-adjust my life without him by my side. I will try to do the things he wanted me to do when he was well. I will treasure every moment i had with him and take comfort that he's having a good time with the Lord, the angels, my dad, my grandparents and maybe some of his friends and relatives.

Darling, i am jealous of you cos you are having a good time now and i am sure you are having a feast. I will take good care of myself and will remember what you told me before you went into coma on last thursday, 22 oct 2009 at 7am. I will remember our last prayers together as husband and wife and will never forget your warm hands on my cheeks to wipe off my tears, your hugs and your kisses.

I know we will meet again some day and in the meantime i believe you are watching over me and will intercede for me and give me the strength to live my life well.